Recovery
by oursarah87
Summary: That first night together had been difficult. So difficult. They had once known each other like the backs of their own hands, but time had aged them.


That first night together had been difficult. So difficult. They had once known each other like the backs of their own hands, but time had aged them. More scars had appeared on both of them in the last twelve years, than the rest of their lives combined.

Sirius, who was once so comfortable in his own skin, now hid every inch of his skin as often as he could. Remus remembered when he was so confident. Strutting around the dorm room in just his pants, or nothing at all, revealing his tanned skin and toned frame. He and James had no qualms whatsoever about undressing in front of their friends, while Peter was more reserved. Remus had always made a conscious effort to stay covered up, his ever-renewing wounds a constant reminder that he would never be like the other boys he so admired.

But now it was different. Twelve years in Azkaban, followed by months living rough had ravaged his body, as well as his mind.

He had dug his own nails so deep into his skin in frustration that he had permanent half moon indents in his palms. Food deprivation had left his ribs jutting out of his chest, and his skin seemed to stretch over every bone in his body, with no muscle or flesh in sight. His lank hair hung limply next to his face, greasy, and longer than it had ever been. His handsome good looks were covered in rough, untamed facial hair. His sunken eyes looked empty; all the spark they once contained was gone. The ridiculous jokes Remus had grown to tolerate, and eventually love, seemed to have been lost in the darkness. His Remus knew the man he loved was under there somewhere, it was just a matter of getting through to him.

Sirius stood in the dusty kitchen, his hands resting on a chair for balance. He was weak, it didn't take much to tire him out. He looked over as Remus entered the room, quickly shifting his glance to the table. Placing a hand on Sirius's back, he could clearly feel his spine jutting through his clothes. One stare deep into his eyes begged the desperate man to trust him. To let him help. He bit his lip and nodded softly, allowing Remus to put one hand around his waist, and support him gently.

They walked slowly to the master bedroom, Remus all too aware that Sirius was in a bad way. Easing his friend onto the chaise lounge, he disappeared into the en suite to draw a bath.

He called gently for the ever-present house elf, and heard a pop as he entered the room, complaining that he had been interrupted. After requesting that the house elf make a start on a hearty, warming meal, he thanked him unnecessarily, and dismissed him, before returning to Sirius.

Again gazing deep into his eyes, he looked for approval, and found it hiding behind some dark memory or other. With nimble fingers, he eased open his comrade's clothes, sliding them gently off his body. Trying his hardest to disguise a gasp every time another piece of clothing was removed, revealing just how desperate he looked, he eventually had stripped Sirius bare. He was shivering, his skin was cold to the touch.

This time carrying his friend, he tested the temperature of the water, and placed him in the bath. Sirius shuddered, and closed his eyes. Remus thought he saw the flicker of a smile cross his lips, and realised that this must be the first bath, and only warmth, he had had in years.

He lightly sponged the stretched skin of the man he loved so, gradually seeing a little colour returning to his cheeks. Bending over to wash his back, he softly kissed his forehead, lingering for a moment. Blinking rapidly, he continued his effort, finishing at the other man's feet.

He pulled up a chair, and sat next to the bath. His breath was laboured, as it occurred to him just how much he loved the man before him. He had been convinced that he had lost him, and was now determined to keep hold of him as tightly as he could. Whether or not his feelings were reciprocated after all this time didn't matter.

Sirius sighed, and it was a sound Remus had not heard from him in a long time. He sounded… Content. He looked up at his face in an effort to gauge his emotions, and saw nothing but a flicker of hope, and the lips he so wanted to kiss mouthing the words "thank you". It was all he needed for now, and he knew that he could make things right.


End file.
